Where: Apartment
How are you feeling?
Regret.
I have many regrets in life especially for the last 2 or 3 years of my life and yes, like what other people keep on telling themselves, "If I could only turn back time" which well, I couldn't. Anyhow, in my case I know what was coming and though I tried to prepare, I should have thought and tried harded. The solutions that I am thinking a few minutes ago, are the thoughts that I should have thought off two or three years ago. I was selfish.
I was giddy. I was careless. Someone already told me that I'm a "fool" which I was then very proud of. I had fun and I wont change most of my decisions then except for one, I should not let my ignorance ruled me.
Literally, two to three years ago, I was rolling in dough. I had my first stable job after many months and years of depressions because I didn't know where would I fit in. I had enough money and I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to open a savings account since I didn't want my hard-earned money to go down the drain, I didn't have the documents that I needed to open one. After months and many tries, I did in some ways. I opened a passbook using the last checks and cash in hand. I was offered if I want an ATM card with it, I said no which was a big mistake.
As I said, I didn't expect to have a consistent flow of cash and after a year I am now earning a solid 30-35 thousand pesos in a month. As much as I wanted to, I didn't put them in my account because I thought or more on out of ignorance, I could only put money in the same bank and it would cost me much if I use their other branches even though the said branches were in the same area but only in the mall. See! How I let my ignorance ruled me. I was so fucking stupid, literally!
When I found out that it would not cost me a cent, I still didn't put my money there because I again thought I wont be able to pull them out because the signature that I used then is different to the one that I am using at the moment and having no ATM, I need to go to the said bank an withdraw the money manually. SEE! again
I was a great FOOL!
After another year, I was able to open another account this time with ATM card and when I was pulling out my money from the first bank, that's the time I found out that I can do it electronically. I mean I should put all the extra money I had then in the bank and when I have a chance to open an account to the branch on where I want my money to be really in, I should have ask for a transfer and it would have been much much easier if I accepted the ATM card that was offered to me years ago.
I wasted a LOT as in literally a LOT of money buying nonsense things then throwing them away. I was really such a fool and now that I am in total despaired, I remember all those money that literally went out of the drain.
Regret. As in big one and all because of my freaking ignorance. I honestly cant let go of those chances that's why I'm writing it now. I'm thinking that by writing it down here, it would lessen the burden, the regrets but honestly, it didn't. I even felt more miserable after remembering it.
sigh!
... closed