she who has been: on thin ice

Good morning.

Its 7:25AM KT and Im eating corn, the one that I bought yesterday on my way home.

Honestly, I don’t want to eat but there’s nothing to do. Yes, I brought a book with me but dang! I should be working by this time. Opening eBooks and talking to people. Feeling sleepy while talking, walking in place just to wake me up etc but now, I did FB just to have something to do. IM my friend Mhinnie and pour her some of my stress though its still very early.

Im  down. Totally. This never happened to me before ‘( I wnt to cry. I want to walk. I want time to think. But dang! I feel so not good.

They say I’ll have trainings for a month, Mind Training. That’s the term they used but hell, what’s that. They didn’t give me any curriculum of the things that I should be doing. I didn’t have a trainer. They can’t even explain what on earth mind training is. 

 

Today [sigh], I really don't know what will happen to me.

Good luck.

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she who has been: not existing

Yap!

I came to the office this morning. Checked my account and there, I didn't have an account. It says, I DON'T EXIST. As in nothing, I asked one of my colleagues to view my account, I'm thinking that maybe I'm just typing the password wrong but according to her, nothing. My previous records were erased, maybe not in the main server but to the general public I don't exist. My head also asked about my status and according to her the manager in Korea thought I'm not working here anymore.

 

So, what am I now?

 

According to the management, it was my fault but really, I won't be like this if not for them. I had a good start and then this. They are the source of my predicament, my stress, my worries. They told me that they'll be giving me a chance, they will put me in re-training program for a month but I wont be getting any client until they see that 'I'm ready' to get clients again. I said OK [of course]. When I asked what the training would be and the contents so I could prepare. It's a "mind training". What the hell is mind training? Yoga? Anger management? Was that invented only for me?

 

They wanted me to change schedule from my original 4:30AM MT - 1:30PM MT to 9:00-6:00PT MT. I said no. Why because I have life after work and I have other activities and appointments in those time. Since, what they did was no warning they couldn't make me change what my schedules are for their whims. And where the hell is the HR manager? We don't have any, for a month now. And they are making rules like that.

 

Maybe, I didn't understand everything that they wanted to say or tell but hell that's the reason we need everything to be in black and white. That's the reason we need a Filipino HR manager, yes?

 

What should I do? > . <

 

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she who has been: thinking of traveling

... but to where, when, whom and how.

Since I started working double again, I have less time to travel except weekends but I really love too.
I am so willing to take a leave [well, maybe after next month though hehehe] and unwind. I really wish my job is  "travel-related". I wont mind getting stress in travels than getting stress in doing office jobs and sitting for almost 13 hours five days a week. Really, I mean I love my job but I have been doing it for less than 5 years now.

Anyways, I know and I believe that a big change will happen in my career this year.
Cross fingers ^^,

Anyhow, I've been reading these books with different topics and questions.
I'll try to post and answer these questions here. Since I've been spending my last five years asking these questions to others. It might be my first and last to find time and opportunity to answer these questions.
Also, some of the questions will be

Here it goes:

Life style:
My favorite leisure activity


1. What is it that you love to do?
> I really love to travel, domestic or international I don't care as long as I'll travel with or with a companion it doesn't matter. Then, I'll write about my experience no matter how boring, interesting, expensive and no matter how loud me and my companions quarrel, I'll travel.

2. Besides discovering different cultures, why do you love to travel?
> I love the experience from the planning, packing, haggling, everything. I want to push myself to the limit like how I interact to this kind of people especially when I lost which happens a lot ^^, how I'll handle this situation and all. I love the adrenaline and yes, there IS adrenaline in traveling.

3. What food makes your mouth water?
> I love chicken and seafood though I'm very choosy when it comes to food. I love trying their native snacks but when it comes to meals, I want eating food that are familiar to me so I have energy to go for another round of adventure like walking etc.

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world, what 3 countries would you like to visit?
> I'd like to see all the places in my country first, Philippines. I really think my country is beautiful. The beaches, animals and people are all good and friendly. Since, my country is an archipelago, I'll prefer to see historical places outside of the country like places in Europe. I want to see palaces and experience what it was like during their time.I would love to see their museums too.

5. Who would you like to travel with and why?
> Any of girl friends; Mhinnie, JC, Sally, Gladish, Irish, Lara and Pola but if I could only be with one then it would be Mhinnie. Well, she doesn't complain a lot and she knows how to have fun even if the sun is really very hot and carrying loads of things.

6. Can you give me a personal travel tip?
> If going outside of the country, make a copy of your  personal IDs, passport and ticket. Scan them and send to your email also make printed copies in case you lost them.

7. What other activities do you enjoy doing during summer vacation?
> Swimming and any water activities.



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she who has been: draining herself with negativity

When: Feb 18. / Sat / 6:40MT
Where: Apartment

How are you feeling?

Regret.

I have many regrets in life especially for the last 2 or 3 years of my life and yes, like what other people keep on telling themselves, "If I could only turn back time" which well, I couldn't. Anyhow, in my case I know what was coming and though I tried to prepare, I should have thought and tried harded. The solutions that I am thinking a few minutes ago, are the thoughts that I should have thought off two or three years ago. I was selfish.

I was giddy. I was careless. Someone already told me that I'm a "fool" which I was then very proud of. I had fun and I wont change most of my decisions then except for one, I should not let my ignorance ruled me.

Literally, two to three years ago, I was rolling in dough. I had my first stable job after many months and years of depressions because I didn't know where would I fit in. I had enough money and I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to open a savings account since I didn't want my hard-earned money to go down the drain, I didn't have the documents that I needed to open one. After months and many tries, I did in some ways. I opened a passbook using the last checks and cash in hand. I was offered if I want an ATM card with it, I said no which was a big mistake.

As I said, I didn't expect to have a consistent flow of cash and after a year I am now earning a solid 30-35 thousand pesos in a month. As much as I wanted to, I didn't put them in my account because I thought or more on out of ignorance, I could only put money in the same bank and it would cost me much if I use their other branches even though the said branches were in the same area but only in the mall. See! How I let my ignorance ruled me. I was so fucking stupid, literally!

When I found out that it would not cost me a cent, I still didn't put my money there because I again thought I wont be able to pull them out because the signature that I used then is different to the one that I am using at the moment and having no ATM, I need to go to the said bank an withdraw the money manually. SEE! again

I was a great FOOL!

After another year, I was able to open another account this time with ATM card and when I was pulling out my money from the first bank, that's the time I found out that I can do it electronically. I mean I should put all the extra money I had then in the bank and when I have a chance to open an account to the branch on where  I want my money to be really in, I should have ask for a transfer and it would have been much much easier if I accepted the ATM card that was offered to me years ago.

I wasted a LOT as in literally a LOT of money buying nonsense things then throwing them away. I was really such a fool and now that I am in total despaired, I remember all those money that literally went out of the drain.

Regret. As in big one and all because of my freaking ignorance. I honestly cant let go of those chances that's why I'm writing it now. I'm thinking that by writing it down here, it would lessen the burden, the regrets but honestly, it didn't. I even felt more miserable after remembering it.

sigh!

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she who has been: trying to post

When: Jan 08 / Sun / 6:20AM
Where: mom's house, at kylie's wake

What:
... pictures but unfortunately, didn't have a card reader.

I'm home, for the wake. I arrived at 11:30 last night. I'm thinking of not going to attend the mass because it would be at 1PM and will be entombed at 3PM.

Anyhow, I'm updating this site, downloading meditation videos, checking facebook. People outside are chatting and it rained and might rain some more this morning. I love the rain especially in the morning. 

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She who has been: choosing

When: Jan 6th
Where: apartment, thinking

What: scripture

the book i've been hiding and a crucifix gifted to me by Mhinnie

.. which Bible scripture is suited for Kylie.

The picture was taken from Ecclesiastes Chapter III: It says;

3:1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every
 purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a
 time to pluck up [that which is] planted;
3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down,
 and a time to build up;
3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a
 time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a
 time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a
 time to cast away;
3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence,
 and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a
 time of peace.
3:9 What profit hath he that worketh in that in which he
 laboreth?
3:10 I have seen the labor, which God hath given to the sons of
 men to be exercised in it.
3:11 He hath made every [thing] beautiful in its time: also he
 hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out
 the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
3:12 I know that [there is] no good in them, but for [a man] to
 rejoice, and to do good in his life.
3:13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the
 good of all his labor, it [is] the gift of God.
3:14 I know that, whatever God doeth, it shall be for ever:
 nothing can be added to it, nor any thing taken from it: and
 God doeth [it], that [men] should fear before him.
3:15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath
 already been; and God requireth that which is past.
3:16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment,
 [that] wickedness [was] there; and the place of righteousness,
 [that] iniquity [was] there.
3:17 I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the
 wicked: for [there is] a time there for every purpose and for
 every work.
3:18 I said in my heart concerning the state of the sons of men,
 that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they
 themselves are beasts.
3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts;
 even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the
 other; yes, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no
 pre-eminence above a beast: for all [is] vanity.
3:20 All go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to
 dust again.
3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the
 spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
3:22 Wherefore I perceive that [there is] nothing better, than
 that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that [is] his
 portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after
 him?


There is indeed A TIME FOR EVERYTHING..



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she who has been: busy and busy

I really didn't know that having a single job [after almost four years of having two jobs] can make me more busy that usual. Well, after work in the morning, I now have more time to see *real people, real place and real things [waaaaa]. This week I think is the most active week I had in years [whoah!].

Here's the recap:

November:
17th, Thursday: I attended The Allegro launching party in Robinsons Galleria. I arrived at 6:30PM then Edz the agent, and I started talking not of the Allegro but Signa. I am truly more interested in Signa Residence than the Allegro at the moment.

18th, Friday: Nicole woke up late and to make her long crazy story really short, she ended up resigning which she insisted, and me sending her salary through our common bank. I also paid for my Two/Seven Residence monthly fee :D

The girls and I were supposed to chat on Face book but because I was too tired after having an early dinner with JC, Red and Danny, and going from one bank to another before hitting the bed, I ended up sleeping [zzzzz]. Nicole called me at around 9:00 MT. I was supposed to chat with her, Lara, Mhinnie and the others at 7PM. Anyways, after we talked, I went to bed. Woke up at 10:00 and did my laundry. I finished at around 11PM then I went to bed at around 1:00 trying my very best to sleep.

19th, Saturday: I attended a photo walk in Taal, Batangas. I almost didn't make it because I didn't know where should I meet the other photographers who will be in the group. No Internet cafe opened at 6:30 in the morning nearby so I decided to call home. Carla answered the phone and asked her to check my meet up site but she can't get my user name and password correctly T.T. I remembered the Internet cafe along Makati Ave. but I remember it being expensive. Anyways, I went there straight and within minutes, I logged in, got the address and landmark then hale myself a ride again. It was already 7:30AM the meet up schedule was 8:00AM but for some odd reason I knew that I'll be spending my whole Saturday with them. So, yeah, I found the Starbucks that I needed [there are so many Starbucks around Makati I don't have any plans of memorizing their locations] :D. We only waited for five more minutes and we hit the round at exactly 8:10AM with two girls in tow, it was really good :D. ( Stories and pictures will be posted once I find the time :D )



SMUG members by Sir Oggie of lagalog.com

 
I arrived home at 10 or 10:30pm after I decide to walk along Ayala Triangle Makati Ave. instead of taking a ride with Lean and Rein [two photographers I met earlier]. I was fascinated with the lights that night and decided to continue photo walking home haha I felt flinty [eww] so I decided to warm a bath for a quick soak but while waiting for the water to settle, I took a nap which ended to be a full sleep. I woke up at 4AM in a sauna-smoked-room.

20th, Sunday: I was supposed to meet some friends and new friends for our Pinatubo Trek for the next Sunday. I took an early bath, prepared myself and read an EBook while waiting but ended up staying because I can't let my book go grrrr [I promised myself not to read any books if I needed to do other things not even use it while waiting :S ].

21th, Monday: My body still ached for what I did last Saturday. I went home early and promised Mhinnie to see her at 6:PM. I decided to take a nap which ended up into a full sleep. I woke up at 10PM and finished my left over laundry.

22nd, Tuesday: I met Edz the Robinsons Place Agent at 4PM to see the Signa Designer's Residence along VA Rufino in Makati, which I am really dying to see. She showed me the single and two bedroom model units but not the three-bedroom unit that I was really eyeing for. She also told me that there is only one three-fixed-bedroom unit left and I felt that it IS already mine hahaha I promised to contact her before or on December 15th for finalization [crossfingers] :D

The meeting ended up at 6PM. I told Irish to informed Mhinnie that I'll drop by. I bough burgers, fries and pringles for her and Sally, who welcomed me at the office stairs hehe since I didn't want to go to their office, not even to their lobby. I arrived home at 8:15, changed clothes, prepared things for the next day then went to bed.

23rd, Wednesday: I met Red from Nu Skin to reactivate my membership in the company so I could buy products again. Aileen [sis], makes me crazy with her constant messages asking me to buy her moisturizer and other skin care products from the company. After 3PM, I'm already on my way home. I dropped by the Internet shop to photocopy slips. At exactly, 6PM, right after a stopped penning my slips, Nicole called me, telling me her house was approved by PAGIBIG [hooorah!!!]. What a timing! I celebrated by buying two hot dogs and bread then eat them at home [haha] since its already late for me to have dinner and I'm still full from my late lunch.

24th, Thursday: I asked Mhinnie follow up my cake order for tomorrow. Writing since I managed to sneak some time :D after a short talk with Red, Danny and JC at my station about Nicole's luck :D I have to meet Red of Nu Skin again today, for the ID and brochure that I needed so people from home can choose their orders.

Let's see what will happen next :D

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she who has been: anticipating

...many things next year.

I have been preparing my account for things that I would buy next year.

I'll post my new year's list here before the  year ends, promise. 

Anyways, I 'm also making plans for before this month ends.

Planning.  I'm really good at planning for most often that not, I'm having difficulties executing those plans when the time comes.  Why? I dunno. Maybe, my excitement already runs off a day or two  before. 

Well, I'm hoping for the best this time. 

cross fingers~!

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She who has been: eating

..ice creammmmm

Celine, one of my co-workers did me a wonderful favor this afternoon. She bought me caramel sundae [McDonald's] and DOLE banana [7-11]. I put my chopped banana to my sundae ice cream and it's deliriously delicious. Over-exaggerating?? yes! who cares? hahaha

I sometimes add grind nuts or mallows on top. Less syrup would be best since the banana is already sweet. You can really smell the freshness of the banana when you combined it with ice cream.

yummmmy!

FYI:

picture1source: http://strawberrygal.wordpress.com/2008/06/

picture2 source: http://www.annalyn.net/tag/dole-bananas/

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She who has been: posting

... another of Eileen's personal message. I asked her permission if I could post her brother's picture here, so here they are.

"Meet my 6-year old cousin and my 7-year old brother, Evan. They fought today while playing with their toy cars. It was really funny." - Eileen

ahhhh pictures like this one could make me wish that I have a brother of my own. Well, I guess I'm wishing for one because we, people aren't satisfied with what we already have. Maybe, I have either an older or younger brother, you'll hear me wishing that I shoudn't have one.

* sigh

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She who has been: posting from her

... other personal message board

I love these pictures. It was sent to me last night and since I have 1 and a half hour free time, I decided to post it here. Well, I asked for the sender's permission though I didnt wait for the sender's reply :) hahaha

Also, her message is included though a little edited and yes, these pictures were taken in Korea [ROK].

" My school held Sports Day last May 28th. Students who wore dresses from Joseon Dynasty received special awards. We cheered and waved our national flag. We had running, tug-o'-war and jumpigng rope event. I danced with other students before the last event. I danced in a very high-spirited mood. " - Eileen 

FYI:

The name is not the sender's really name.

  

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