When: Jan 04 / Wed / 1:51AM
Where: Apartment
What: Candle
I woke up at 12:30AM today since I slept at 4 or so yesterday because I wasn’t able to sleep well last night and been suffering from headache the whole morning. When I checked my phone, I received a discount deal which I immediately deleted, an invitation from a friend to go on a weekend-camp on the 21st, an inquiry message from my second sister and a creepy message from my fourth sister.
She said her baby was gone. I asked for an explanation then by this time, she told me that her one-year old baby, my second niece, was truly gone. She was supposed to leave the hospital tomorrow and my mom was already looking for a hospital that can do her heart operation since the hospital she was in has machine for adults, didn’t make it.
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| green scented candle and a cloth-made rose |
She said Khailee was admitted on Jan 1st because her breathing was labored and seemed not well. The day before, she was playing with one of my mom’s medicine bottles. Mom told my sister, Russel to bring her to the hospital; she might accidentally drink the medicine. The hospital doctors did an X-ray and found out that she had a big heart. Mom went home and cooked food since it’s also her birthday.
The message was received last night. She might sent as the message as a group. Honestly, I think she could have made it if mom acts swiftly. She might have delayed it and thought that it was not that serious. The hospital would definitely have given them list of hospital that could have gone the surgery fast. It could have been money. Mom might not have enough and delayed the process. Or they didn’t know that she’ll have an attack or something.
Her mom was lost before she came. She didn’t finish high school and no direction. After years, she came home pregnant on her. She was her mom’s light. Now, we don’t know what might happen to her
There’s many “it could have been..” but now, she’s already gone. Her mom cries. I cry. Our whole family is crying. And we will cry for the rest of our lives because of her. We might have our nieces, might have a nephew and I might have a child on my own but SHE would be especial. She’s a happy child. That’s one thing I’m sure of.
I lighted a green (calm) candle (light) to guide her way and a single (she’s 1 year old) plastic (forever and would never whither) rose beside (her mom, who always watch over her) it.
For Khailee:
May your light always be soft and warm forever.